Its not strange for a new comer to ask at every show ‘What does #NHBi mean?’ I’ll say this just this once, ‘N’ is for Learning, ‘H’ is for ‘Enlightenment’, ‘B’ is for Fun and I is for Interactive. Ok, I’m just goofing. Maybe not really. But seriously, here on No Holds Barred Interactive, its all that and more thrown into the mix and this week it was a great session of learning and enlightenment for us on the show.
Welcome to the review of yet another not-to-be-forgotten-soon episode of the show. This week on the show, we were taking a stand against the societal menace called Rape. We had as guest on the night Ayodeji Osowobi @AyodejiOsowobi of Stand to End Rape, a Non-Governmental Organisation that seeks to end rape by creating awareness about its devastating effects on our society.
Ayodeji said that rape isn’t a new phenomenon in Nigeria, but that recently it has quite grown out of proportion. She went on to describe rape as a form of ‘gender based violence against girls and women’, with boys and men even being inclusive recently as well.
She defined Rape as when “you penetrate anyone’s body part however slight, with a sexual organ. Any act of force/coercion is also rape.”
People tend to get confused on what rape really is. I’ll break it down for you! Rape is when a person says ‘No’
& you interpret it as ‘Yes'”
She adds that even if one is having sex with a lady and at some point she says ‘Stop’ or ‘No’ and you continue, from there on, it is rape. Which reminds me of a case I heard about where the couple had sex 3 times already and at the 4th time, the woman said ‘No’ and the man went ahead to have his way with her, and the court ruled that he indeed had raped her.
She further enlightens by saying “There is a common misconception on what ‘consent’ really is. Sometimes, a victim can be coerced/threatened to give consent. If an armed robber breaks into your home & says ‘Let me rape you or I’ll kill you!’ I bet you’ll be forced to say ‘yes’ for the fear of death! Hence, it’s important to know that rape isn’t just about ‘consent’, it’s also when ones’ ‘freedom to choose’ is taken forcefully!”
She then talks about rape in the case of minors being technically termed as ‘defilement’.
She says “House girls/boys, aunties/uncles, fathers/brothers have been reported to be perpetrators of defilement. What is our law doing about this?”
She says that the laws we have in Nigeria aren’t stringent hence perpetrators escape justice while victims are left saddled with the job of proving rape.
“Victims of rape even after the psychological humiliation of being raped, see no need to report rape cases. Why? No hope for justice. Victims are most times asked bizarre questions like ‘What were you wearing?’ ‘Did you ask for it?’ ‘Are
you sure you were raped?’ Under the shariah law, if victims can’t prove/don’t have any evidence of being rape, they are seriously canned & tagged ‘fornicators.’ The approach of victims proving rape” has contributed to bring suffering to (most) Nigerian women across the country!”
Ayodeji then quoted results from NOIPolls which say that 34% of 585 sampled adults think that indecent dressing is the leading cause of rape.
“This in itself is a form of victim blaming, which promotes rape one way or the other. Minors don’t dress indecently, yet they get raped. Hence, we need stringent laws, law enforcement officials who are specially trained & a no ‘rape proving’ structure for victims.”
Our guest went on to answer numerous questions from participants. Especially those who were interested in joining her organisation in the Fight to End Rape.
The discussion doesn’t just end here, or on Twitter, we expect everyone who cares about our girls and boys and women to take a stand against rape in our society. After all, if good men do nothing about evil, I trust you know the rest.
Join us again next week on another exciting episode of the show. Have a great week. God bless.
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