Does Age Matter – A Male Perspective by @TonyAtambi #NHBiReview S4W3

Hello Folks, last week on #NHBi, we opened a discussion on age and relationships, with the topic Does Age Matter? Last week we had the female perspective with Freda, @PinkRubbiez and like promised, the second part held this week with us discussing from the male point of view with Tony Atambi, @TonyAtambi.

Welcome to the review of yet an exciting episode of everyone’s favourite tweet show, #NHBi.

Our guest started by saying that there are no water tight rules regarding age and relationships. In his words, “As a matter of personal belief, I think maturity precedes age. So I respect maturity. Then Age.”

Tony also said he loves to think of relationships as an art, which means that it can be learnt, worked on and mastered. Which then goes on to mean that no matter how young a man may be, if he has mastered the art, one can go ahead and have great relationships, regardless of the age factor. Tony told a personal story where he hit it off greatly with a girl, they started dating and he soon discovered that she was 4 years older than him. He says, he found it hard to deal with and began taking note of the sort of guys that were asking her out and insecurity crept in. To make it worse, his friends kept telling him to find a girl that ‘was his size’.

“Then I made up my mind to ‘play’ the man. I decided I was going to man up and handle my relationship rather than get intimidated…The major thing I learnt from that relationship is that, the stakes are really HIGH, when in a relationship with a lady older, as a guy.”

What exactly makes the stakes high? Tony puts them as 1.) Preparedness. 2.) Respect.  and 3.) Finances.

How prepared are you with dealing with being in a relationship? Because as he says “…the problem with being unprepared is that very soon, she’ll go from being your ‘babe’ to your ‘Mom'”

How much does she respect you? How much does she submit to you as the captain of the relationship?

“There’s a reason God said wives ‘Respect or submit to your husband’. Women are built to love. But respect? She has to learn! But of course, you can ONLY become the man you made your woman see. So you might want to make her
see correctly.”

On finances, “Every sane guy wants to be the ‘provider’, the man ‘taking the lead’. So if he has that CAPACITY, age wouldn’t real be an issue.”

Like always, participants weighed in on the discussion. While you can always follow up by searching for the hashtag #NHBi and chipping in a comment or two on twitter or here on the comments box, here are some of the interesting comments we had on the night.

@EkyShirley: Some ladies have issues with respect as a whole, not just with younger guys. To these ones, please stick to the traditional.

@MAW3DO: I almost dated a friend till I realised the age difference between us was above 3 years(he’s younger). He didn’t care. I did.

@madamedemadame: Some women won’t date or marry a younger man simply because God created Adam before he created Eve.

@AK_Ibe: I think its second nature for babes to want to play mum, whether she’s older or not.

@emma_dele: I’ve always been attracted to ladies of same age bracket or older. I find them more romantic and mature.

That’s all on this weeks review of the show, join us, and tell a friend to tell a friend, next week, Wednesday 9pm(Nigerian time) by following the hashtag #NHBi. Have a wonderful week people. Stay blessed.

Does Age Matter – A Female Perspective with @PinkRubbiez #NHBi S4 W2

Hello guys. Hope it has been a splendid week for everyone thus far. Welcome to another review of your favourite show on twitter: No Holds Barred Interactive.

This week on the show we had Freda Athena Bernard, @PinkRubbiez talking on the topic ‘Does Age Really Matter in a Relationship?’ Freda began by saying she wasn’t in the position to say whether in fact it mattered, or if it was right or wrong dating being in a relationship with someone with remarkable age difference, but ‘would outline some few things that would help you draw that conclusion on your own.’

She said, ‘Naturally women mature faster than men, you find out that men your age are totally clueless about some stuffs. Now age might not matter, but it depends on the kind of relationship, Is it a fling or do you intend it to lead to marriage?’

Interesting question, I would admit, because ultimately the purpose of the relationship determines whether or not a factor such as age becomes an issue, or a non-issue. If one is dating and the plans are for marriage, when she asks ‘If you are a lady in your mid 30’s and dating a guy in his 20’s, let’s say early 20’s – mid 20’s. Will you respect and submit to him?’ You realise you have some serious thinking to do.

She asks further: ‘What does a 22-25 year old know, how ready is he for marriage? How mature is he mentally? How can he be the man of the house? Will you get pissed and angry when he acts his age? Are his P-setting days over? How comfortable will you be hanging out with his crowd? Or Him with yours? Except you both plan on deserting your friends.’

For the man, the fear as she puts it, might be that the older woman is controlling and submissive, and there is the problem when age begins to tell on her body, especially after childbirth, would the man be able to put up contentedly with ‘sagged boobs’? Funny as we are, the age might not matter now that one ‘is in love’ but when these begin to happen, suddenly the scales fall from his eyes and she suddenly becomes an ‘old mama’.

Freda ended by saying succinctly that ‘Nothing is absolute. Young does not always mean immature.’

If you aren’t erm, one of those people who date older women for their money (remember those Abuja boys from last season) if one brings, maturity and direction to the table and leads the relationship like a proper captain should, age rarely becomes a problem. But in acting unreasonably, and below expectations, an older woman would be quick to point to your age as an excuse even when your actions had nothing to do with your number of years.

This week, while we had the opinion of a female on the matter, next week, we hear the opinion of a male. Balance.

That’s all on this weeks review of the show, join us, and tell a friend to tell a friend, next week, Wednesday 9pm(Nigerian time) by following the hashtag #NHBi. Have a wonderful week people. Stay blessed.

#NHBiReview S4 W1 True Confession: Your First Valentine by @emma_dele

How long has it been? It certainly seemed like forever. #NHBi has been sorely missed, as well as all you jolly good tweeps who week in, week out make the show the amazing stuff it turns out to be.

Welcome guys, to Season 4 of the show, and for the next 15 weeks, it promises to be a great period of interaction, fun, and learning, done easily when one comes with an open mind devoid of bias and sentiments and all those other stuff that just clog ones reasoning.

Its Valentine season, the month of love, or however cliché way you choose to put it, and well, what better way to start a new season of the show with the theme that is all up in the air. This week we had Nwachukwu Emmanuel Uzodinma Bamidele, @emma_dele as guest and he was talking on the topic ‘True Confession: My First Valentine.’

It was easy to imagine everyone just pause, and take a trip down memory lane, recollecting, picking scraps and shreds of nostalgia and piecing them together. Everyone has their story, tonight we were hearing Dele’s and the attendant lessons he had to share from it.

Dele gave a brief background of his family, and the manner in which he was raised and described it as ‘religious and conservative’. His parents preached on the honour of virginity and the gravity of sex outside marriage. Fear, he says was their model of sex education, ‘the fear of the opposite sex was their weapon.’

“My Dad warned me NEVER to go near, hold or sit with a girl as that would result in her getting pregnant. Needless to say, I believed.”

Just when we taught only girls received this form of ‘sex education’. In senior secondary school, it turned out a girl like Dele, and even went as far as asking him to be her boyfriend.

“I was in 18 then, Rashida would tell me some sweet things. I loved what I saw and heard, but, my father’s words resounded in my head.”

If Rashida was bold enough to ask Dele out, her next move would leave you in shock. At least Dele felt that much.

“One day, Rashida came looking for me, I was alone and had just left the bathroom with only a towel covering my adamic state. I rushed to get my pants but stopped as I saw Rashida
remove her top to reveal 1 of the loveliest boobs I’ve ever seen! Don’t know if she knew boobs are my weakness, but she also got me. She held my hands against her boobs, but I begged her to go I broke down and wept profusely. Rashida was confused and shamefully dressed up and left. I was scared and distressed. When my mum came back, I told her I got a girl pregnant. There was chaos in the house. I told them what happened and they forgave me.”

I’m shaking my head, holding back laughter listening to this guy. But wait, while you are laughing, you were probably worse off.

Dele continues his confession by saying curiosity led him into porn and masturbation. On getting to the university, Dele says one of his goals was to have sex and even though he still didn’t know how to woo a girl, student unionism and tutorial classes he held brought him fame, which translated to lots of female admirers around him.

While he cut the gentleman persona around these girls, who thought he could never harm a fly, our boy just wanted to have sex. He’ll probably never know all the signs he missed and how many girls would have snickered behind him and called him a dull guy.

Finally. Yes, there is indeed a finally for our boy as he says,  “Finally in my 3rd year(2007), I lost my virginity on
Valentine’s day…”

From taking a girl private lessons in ECO 101, Dele got asked to be a girls Valentine and on that day he lost his virginity.

“Due to my obsession to have sex and misconception about val, I saw val’s day as the perfect chance to break the sex yoke. On val’s day, we had sex, it wasn’t close to good sex, but it was all I needed to develop a nasty habit. My 1st Val saw me move from a 24yr old virgin to a man that had sex with 3 ladies in 1 day. I lost control!”

Valentine’s Day means a lot of things to different people, and for many it dwells mostly on sex. Where and how did you get your first lessons on love, sex, proper boy-girl relations, Valentine’s day and the likes? And how did these impressions change over the years? It is important like Dele nicely puts it, for we, when we become parents, and for those of us who already are “to take the responsibility of teaching their kids the truth about sex and things like
Valentine.”

That way, not only would awfully awkward situations be avoided but a healthier and better informed generation would be raised. Our parents might have tried their best in raising us, but looking back, aren’t there areas we would love to improve upon in raising our kids. To think that touching a girls breast made an 18 year old think he had gotten a girl pregnant.

That’s all on this weeks review of the show, join us, and tell a friend to tell a friend, next week, Wednesday 9pm(Nigerian time) by following the hashtag #NHBi. Have a wonderful week people. Stay blessed.