Should Single Women Hide their Money? #NHBiReview S3 W9

Or maybe we should put it this way, ‘Should Wealthy Single Women Downplay Their Wealth’?  At least that is what our guest @ebonyoma seems to think, saying that the topic at first glance may seem as if we are talking about being stingy.

Welcome guys to another review of yet another wonderful edition of #NHBi. So, should single women, no matter how much they have, hide their money? Should they play it down so that they do not intimidate men or scare off prospective suitors? Whatever it is your viewpoint is or was, #NHBi gets to usually solidify it, or provide some other perspective that informs and educates and when received with an open mind improves on what it is that you stand for.

Oma says “For years, a lot of us women have heard stuff like ‘don’t display your money o. don’t buy car o. So that you don’t intimidate men’”. And she says advice to a single woman not to do things such as renting her own apartment, or buying a car, comes from all sort of places, friends, colleagues, family and even pastors. She asks ‘As a single woman with a source of income or inheritance or both, why shouldn’t I live how I please?  If I can afford a car why shouldn’t I buy one for myself, or why should I buy a rickety one? If I can afford to dine in expensive restaurants or take myself on holidays, why shouldn’t I?”

Or more controversially, if I can afford a cook or a housekeeper, why shouldn’t I get one? Because I’m unmarried?” The advice against such to a single woman no matter how well meaning, she says, has never made sense to her. ‘It is the same as telling a woman to act dumb or pretend not to know something so as not to intimidate a man.’

She says it’s not about competing with men but about working hard and getting what you want on yourself. In her opinion, the only reason why a woman might need to downplay her wealth is to avoid gold diggers?

Suddenly the conversation veered to a lane no one even envisaged. Gold diggers. Male gold diggers. Who knew? Oma says, ‘For years the word golddigger has been attached to solely women. From the stereotypical dumb blonde who marries a very old, wealthy man to a girl innocently asking a guy how much he earns.’ She continues ‘But tonigt, ladies and gentlemen, especially ladies, I am happy to inform you that there are MALE golddiggers.’

Pause. Shock. Gasps.  Feet shuffling. A few men take their leave. Women break into a spirited series of claps and boos. I just bowed my head. ‘They are increasing in number, especially in Abuja.’ Gobe! More men take their leave. We should have put security at the door.

‘These men are everywhere. From nightclubs to offices to banks and even churches!’ What do miners have to fear in the presence of God? Oma goes on to give signs on how ladies can recognise these golddiggers. Wasn’t surprised to see women bringing out their writing pads.

1. They are smooth talkers. Whoosh. The quintessential male gold diggers and the Casanova have that in common.
2. They lie a lot.
3. They never appear to be broke or poor. They put up the appearance of big boys with big ‘projects’ so that when they start asking you for money, you won’t be suspicious.

Who are their preys? ‘Rich, single women. Mostly in their thirties and older because they are emotionally vulnerable. Women who are desperate to settle down because of loneliness or family pressure.’ And she closes thus ‘But despite all these, should a single, wealthy woman hide her wealth? Or deny herself pleasures she can afford? No. I do not think so. You can buy that car? Please do. You can afford that vacation? Please go. Life is for the living. What is the point in working so hard if you cannot enjoy the fruits of your labour?’

By the time our guest Oma was done, the Abuja boys where nowhere to be found. And there were all these subs flying from perhaps women who had had first hand experiences of these golddiggers.

But in all of these, my take is that if you have money, spend it on what you want to, but be careful on , the kind of guys you attract and secondly, that your money doesn’t  get you arrogant and proud. These pitfalls are necessary to avoid because when they aren’t it becomes a lose-lose situation for you.

 

@onaives: Where I come from a man is not permitted to receive any form of money from a woman regardless of her financial status

@aarsheedah: As a lady, from your father’s house straight to husband’s house. Living alone makes no sense

@wildeyeq: Even chicks wey no get copper dey fear Gold-digger. We see una

@oyinkolawa: That was how one told me to give him 500k that he was going to ad 1M and get me a car. I told him to try another trick.

@afobajee: some tweeps be taking this gold digger thing personal. Victims maybe?

@DABRAINIAC: Women are always having to downplay themselves to soothe the egos of men and society and that in my opinion is an insult to both men and women

@miss_nelo: Ladies spend your money but please stay humble. Spending your money is different from flaunting it.

@Emveepee_1: I know of a lady who is no longer driving her Honda because she is looking for a man to marry. Advice from family. She moves about on bike.

@miss_nelo: Be rest assured that if you downplay your wealth to get a man, you will compromise on a lot of things after marriage. Career, your future, your goals…

@OreFakorede: Stay alert. A man who keeps coming to you with bills is not really a man, he is a leech…and he will suck you dry.

So it seems this week’s edition of #NHBi did a lot of damage to the hustle of Abuja boys. They have promised us a robust reply. We wait patiently. Until then and till next week, God bless.

Caleb Olorunmaiye.