Must Our Wedding Cost A Fortune #NHBiReview S4W4

Hello guys, it’s Season 4 and Week 4 of the most popular show on Nigerian Tweetersphere. Welcome to yet another review of #NHBi. This week on the show we had Tony Iribor, @tonypox as guest talking on the topic ‘Must Our Wedding Cost a Fortune?’

Tony gets off by saying that the poser by the topic isn’t one that can be easily answered with a yes or no. And then declares that he has never been married before, and therefore cannot say there is an acceptable amount for weddings, and that all he’ll be saying are simply his opinion and not a standard for everyone to adopt. With that said, Tony again makes it clear that we are discussing on the wedding ceremony, not the marriage, does a fortune needs to be spent on the ceremony, the catering, the hall, the bridal dresses from Italy, and the suits from Paris.

Tony says it would be very easy for him to say “you do not have to spend a fortune on your wedding”. And makes a comparison to foreign movies where you see a wedding ceremony of just the bride and groom, parents and family of the couple, officiating minister and that’s all.

“We have a family culture here in Nigeria that goes beyond your father mother and siblings. When a family
celebrates, everyone does. So how will you organise a wedding ceremony and not invite them? How? We celebrate everything in these parts. Naming ceremonies, house warming and all sorts. My honest opinion is simple, what do you want? Can you
afford it? What is the point spending so much on just one day? The wedding ceremony is just one day. you will have days ahead of you. And then we over do it. We go from introduction to engagement or traditional marriage and then to
the court and then to church or the mosque, depending on your religion. To achieve all this, money gets spent. After the church wedding, you now have to entertain. You pay bride price, and God help you, if you are
marrying a lady from that tribe where the bride price comes like a huge text book.”

But then again, all this is assuming that the expenses could be a constraint on your finances. What if they aren’t and you can totally afford them? By all means, please go ahead. Tony says “Who no like better thing? Go to a lovely location. buy
her the best wedding dress of her choice. An amazing ring, you know na.”

“A wedding ceremony is not a food expo for people to come and eat. That you have a big wedding doesn’t guarantee that your marriage will be great. Neither does a small, quiet wedding mean your marriage will not succeed and vice versa. The pressure from family also plays a role but you have to make them understand too if you know you don’t want or can’t afford it.”

And even if by virtue of goodwill from family and friends, and sale of aso-ebi which is a given in every Nigerian wedding today, you can afford it, the wedding still doesn’t have to be overly elaborate or expensive if your status or means is average. Reason being that after the razzmatazz of the wedding ceremony comes the realities of life as a married man or woman, and the responsibilities of raising a family. People save up for their wedding ceremony but don’t save up for raising a family or sending their children to good schools or to having a house of their own to provide a sense of security for the wives and kids. Where is the sense in that?

Tony ended by saying “So, for me, if you can, have a big wedding and if you
cannot, please do not tensioned or feel bad. be happy
with what you can afford.”

On another very engaging night on #NHBi here are some interesting tweets participants sent in.

@NajeebWali: I’ve seen weddings that over 40 million naira was spent on events and superficial bullshit that didn’t last six months.

@doeyhin: If you tell my mother you want a small wedding, she’d wake you up in d middle of the night to ask if you’ve done some evil people shouldn’t hear of.

@nykelodeon: Contrary to what some of you here believe, some big, expensive wedding actually make the marriage work out walai!

@RebelliousXIV: Nigerian weddings have defeated the purpose of wedding night. The couple be so tired from dancing that they cant even lift a finger.

@loynox: Both of you MUST agree to stick to the budget irrespective of external pressure. The lady must see everyone else as third-party.

@jyte12: I’ve seen too many friends break down in the middle of wedding planning. It’s not funny. In the name of ‘making people happy’.

@DapoDan: Its possible to do a wedding and declare a profit after. Someone has done it before.

@Solar_unique: Big wedding is good, but not compulsory, the main thing is marriage. Unfortunately, some people have great wedding but poor
marriage.

@KayodeSomorin: I would have
preferred an Indian wedding though,
the woman pays for everything
including bride price.

@temi_tayo: Wedding. It’s become so capital intensive…Stems from people wanting to outdo the other.

@Elsieisy: Whether low key wedding or high key. At the end of it all, who cares? People will always talk.

@MAW3DO: Like my dad would say, don’t have a lavish wedding and come here a week later to fetch raw rice and beans. -__-

@amasonic: Put plenty dance for your wedding to raise money: Bride/groom, Bride/parents, Groom/parents, Chairman/Chairlady, MC/Cake designer.

@abdulhari108 : ‘Big wedding’ is a
relative term,one man’s big
wedding’ is another mans ‘small
wedding’.

There you have it. That’s all on this weeks review of the show, join us, and tell a friend to tell a friend, next week, Wednesday 9pm(Nigerian time) by following the hashtag #NHBi. Have a wonderful week people. Stay blessed.